You Can Do It
I understand how you feel. Too much stress trying to figure out everything, trying to keep up with family, friends, and career can be draining, I understand.
Looking for that big shot in your career can be draining, you keep asking yourself? Can I do this, is programming for me? If you are a religious person, you might have asked God in your prayers to show you the way. I really do understand.
Let me tell you a little story about myself again.
Well I'm currently working as a Backend Engineer, It was very difficult trying to learn HTML and CSS at first before Javascript, It wasn't easy getting where to start from because I wasn't exposed to so many resources, it was like I was my own mentor and teacher at the same time. You can read more here
Where to start from
You can use Freecodecamp to increase your programming skills. You only need one thing and that is Faith in yourself. You just need you to believe in you. I believe in you, but i want you to believe in you also. This brings me to a bible verse
"If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you. Matthew 17:20"
You need to know one thing only you have the right to write your destiny, ONLY YOU.
If it means going offline on social media, do it. I say to myself if I have a successful career, the followers will come. People don't want to know why you aren't successful, A successful man has so many friends. Nobody knows you if you are unsuccessful. START NOW.
In addition to Freecodecamp, there is youtube, Learning now has been more easier than ever, so many resources out there. There is also Google, create projects as you learn would help you a lot also.
Don't run away when you are stuck and don't overwhelm yourself. Take things one step at a time and don't be intimidated. It is Ok to challenge yourself and set goals but please challenge yourself on realist goals. It will be easier to accomplish. Go forums, Post your success stories. Always know someone is watching you.
Challenge to keep you moving
You can join #100DaysOfCode a challenge to Code minimum an hour every day for the next 100 days, and tweet your progress every day with the #100DaysOfCode hashtag. I promise you, you will be a badass programmer at the end of 100 days. I just need you to start.